Discomfort vs Dysfunction

I wanted to start this post with a reminder to anyone out there who needs a boost of encouragement and positivity. You have the ability to push through and be great today. No matter what, you are able. Don’t put a limit on your impact. Even if you can’t see it now, keep believing that where you are headed is where you are supposed to be.


Growing and learning can be uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Though some days are heavier and harder than others, I’m a witness that stepping out of “comfortable” thought patterns is worth it 1000%. By leaving behind the dysfunction of fear-based thinking, I’m able to see that what’s ahead of me is worth me letting go of what’s holding me back, even if I can’t see the finish line yet. 


My growth is not distracted be anything externally, and that’s the difference between my current self and my past self. My past self was dysfunctional. From relationships, to friendships, to self awareness and self care. It was all a whirlwind of neglect, confusion, chaos, and negativity masked in self medication, unhealthy coping, and the rejection of growth. I wasn’t comfortable with or accepting of myself for a long time, mostly in my mid-20’s, and was reflecting that dysfunction in my personal life and relationships. Because of the lack of wholeness within myself, I had a lack of wholeness with my loved ones. 


When I looked around and didn't recognize myself, when I questioned where I was, when I reached out for friends and feelings that were no longer there, that’s when I realized just how far my dysfunction had taken me. In some instances, I manifested negativity and stunted my growth by sticking around to see if the dysfunction would work itself out. (Spoiler: dysfunction never works itself out.) I realized that what I was missing in my friendships and relationships with others, I really needed to pour into myself. After hitting the bottom under rock bottom, I decided to take my self care more seriously. It’s not all bubble baths and face masks or burning sage and journaling. I decided that my self care journey is about actually caring about myself enough to let go, begin again, and create peace on a daily basis.


Have you ever noticed how, the more you strive for growth, the more you are met with discomfort? The more I look for ways to include more peace, understanding, love, patience, and kindness in my life, the more I am met with situations, opportunities, and circumstances in which those virtues are needed most. Those days, weeks, or even seasons of discomfort can aid you tremendously on your path. The more you are challenged, the more opportunity you have to show those challenges exactly who you are. I’m going through a transitional period right now. And I won’t lie, it’s uncomfortable as hell. With so much uncertainty, and so many goals that haven’t been fully realized yet, I cannot sit back and relax and get comfortable. I’m doing the inner work to deprogram myself from negative patterns and implement positive and productive habits on a more consistent basis. It’s difficult and meticulous at times, but it’s important to be accountable to yourself. 


It’s SO important to know and love yourself to the fullest extent possible. If not, you’re not able to live out the fullest expression of yourself. And when you can’t express your true self, what makes you uniquely awesome and impactful, you’re telling the universe and the people around you that it’s okay to embrace a half-ass version of yourself. And where is the freedom in that? The longer you hide your true expression, the longer you’ll eventually hold yourself back from being who you need to be and from being with who makes you better.

There’s discomfort in unlearning, unpacking, and undoing what doesn’t fit you anymore. There’s discomfort in building boundaries and developing new routines. There’s discomfort in introducing yourself to the world as a renewed and growing being. Acknowledge that discomfort and gladly go there anyway.


(All photos courtesy of Brother Cornelius)